Good times. Getting better, slowly but surely. Hopefully.
I’m starting to wonder where rock bottom is. I’ve been really low before. Like, inpatient psych ward low. But I don’t think that’s the bottom. Not that I want to hit rock bottom, per se, just curious where it is. What it looks like. How it feels on and under my skin. Do I have to get there before I can really turn around for good? Do I even need to turn around? Am I exactly were I need to be, doing exactly what I need to be doing? It’s so hard to let go and let now be enough. To embrace the uncertainty. To celebrate the blissful ignorance. I need to relax and float. Let the waves of the universe carry me to my destination. Good thing I washed my swimming trunks yesterday.
How I feel these days.
We are so connected. I feel the exact same way. Like an actor. A performer. Pretending to be functioning in society. Behind closed doors I am falling apart. A Frankenstein monster pieced back together each morning to go back out into the world as “normal”.